I recently read a post about how to talk to your child. It really hit home with me because I always give Sadie a command followed by an, "okay?"
The writer of this post says that you shouldn't be asking permission from your child when giving them a command. Ever since reading this, I have been very conscious of every time I follow a direction I give to Sadie by saying, "okay?" For me, I'm not really asking her if she wants to do what I am telling her to do, it's more that I'm making sure she understands. So lately I have been trying to end my sentence by a "got it?" or "understand?"
The other tip I liked was this:
"Instead of saying 'If you do this, then you can have that' change it to, 'When you do this, then you can have that.' It's not optional, they understand (or will) that they need to do it and the ball/choice/power is in the child's hands to make the necessary choice when s/he is ready."
Are there any other effective ways you use to talk to your kids?