I'm not sure how, but I think I have finally accepted the fact that my daughter has changed my life. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the rodeo and the movie theatre. I'm talking about going to the baseball game last night and being okay with spending a few innings at the play area without knowing what the score was. In fact, I was planning on this before we even got to the game and I still wanted to go.
A few months back, I would have been really upset that Sadie wasn't sitting quietly in her seat allowing me to focus on the game. When she got really restless, I would be jealous of everyone else that got to relax and enjoy the game while I was getting up to chase her all over the playground.
But last night I didn't mind getting out of my seat so that Sadie could run around. I actually enjoyed watching her spend 20 minutes playing with the toy steering wheel. I had fun watching her interact with other children. There were a a few times I would hear the crowd cheer and I would wonder what just happened but never once did I wish I was somewhere other than with Sadie.
I think what's happened is that I am really starting to enjoy being a Mom. Don't get me wrong, I have always liked being a Mom. I mean, I am doing what I have always wanted to do. But I feel like I appreciate the time I have with Sadie more. I no longer look at all the time I spend taking care of her as work or boring or even monotonous. I'm not sure how or when things changed for me but I'm sure glad they have. Sure, I still look forward to when she naps so that I can get a few things done but I don't dread hearing the sounds of her waking up like I use to.
I guess you could say that I have finally come to terms with the fact that Sadie's needs come before mine. Whether that be her needing to stretch her legs while I would rather be watching the baseball game or me wanting to go out to the Olive Garden but knowing Sadie would do better at the play space at McDonald's. Oh, and not being disappointed with those things but instead finding joy in them. Being a Mom is a selfless job and I am just now starting to get that. I'm talking really understanding that and still being excited about my role as a Mom. I still have a long way to go but I think the more I embrace this new discovery, the better Mother I will be.