Monday, December 12, 2005

Sweet Sadie

The first week after Sadie was born was very overwhelming for me. I was trying to bond with her but I was NOT prepared for all of the painful changes my body was going through. I felt inadequate as a Mother and just wasn't sure if I could be responsible for someone else's life.

A few days after she was born, Blake had gone to get me some cabbage (that is another story). I was alone with Sadie. I was sitting on the couch, holding her in my arms. Up until that point, pretty much all she did was sleep and she barely opened her eyes. I started bawling. Through my sobs, I kept saying, "I am so sorry." I felt that she deserved better. Through my tears, I looked at her beautiful face. She opened her eyes and for the first time, looked up at me. She stared at me while I cried. She looked so peaceful. It was almost like she was saying, "It's okay Mom, it's going to be okay." Of course this made me cry more but at least they were tears of relief and joy.

Ever since that night, it seems like Sadie knows when either Blake or I need a lift. All we need to do is look at her and she will give us a huge grin! Every time it feels like she is saying, "Don't worry Mom and Dad! You have me!" She's right. I am so lucky to have Sadie in my life. I love being a Mom and I love Sadie!!!


Sara said...

This post made ME cry, too! I guess most things do make me cry, though. I'm a big baby!

Anonymous said...

While reading this post my eyes produced some foreign wet substance as well. Lindsey, that's so nice. I know I'll feel the same way when I have my first baby. I'll probably have a boy on top of that. I don't know anything about boy babies.

Blake said...

Very nice post Lindz. Much better than dooce without all the cynicism and it made me light up just thinking of the handful of times sadie has smiled just when i needed it.

Jacki said...

That is the most beautiful post ever!!! YOu are a GREAT MOM Lindz!!

Woody said...

A real tear jerker for me as well.
Thanks for sharing this story.

p.s. you know this story is moving when Lexi has a bit of moisture in her eyes

You both are great parents.